You’ve decided you want to try Internet dating and you’re a little overwhelmed by all the sites that are available. You’re nervous enough about this without added stress and doubts. Some articles you’ve read say sites don’t matter, profiles do. Some articles say only high priced sites are good. Some articles say number of customers is the only true indicator of a good Internet dating site. It’s all very confusing!

So let’s get down to basics. If you’re going to compare sites, what things really do matter?

Number and Density of Subscribers
Face it, it could be the slickest site in the world, but if it only has a hundred subscribers in North Dakota, it’s probably not going to be too useful for you. As a reference, the biggest name in Internet dating is Match.com, and they have 25 million active subscribers! MatchMaker.com has 8 million active users worldwide and boasts 50,000 new subscribers each week. With numbers like that, the odds of finding someone are pretty good.

Another question to ask about the numbers is are they primarily comprised of men or women? Ideally it’ll be about fifty-fifty, but it’s worth checking out. You don’t want to be a male looking for a female and find yourself on a site with 7 million other men and only 1 million women!

Confidentiality
Whatever site you select, you want to be very sure they’re not sharing your personal data with anyone. Not with other clients and not with other services. Not only do you not want crazy amounts of spam from a host of sites you’ve never heard of, you have to be safety conscious. It’s okay for you to release your personal information when you’re feeling comfortable (although even then it’s recommended to release it in stages) but it’s NEVER okay for the service to release it, to anyone. This should be spelled out clearly in their policies. If it isn’t, find another site.

Guarantees
If there’s a charge for the service, and for the more comprehensive Internet dating sites there probably is, then there should be some kind of guarantee. It’s probably not a money-back guarantee, but it should be an extended subscription or enhanced listing if you haven’t met anyone after a specified amount of time. This may not be a huge issue for you, but it’s worth knowing before you commit to a contract of any kind.

Ease of Navigation / Support
It doesn’t matter if it’s the hottest, most coveted site around if you can’t figure out how to navigate through it. Don’t drive yourself crazy using a site that isn’t intuitive!

Reviews
Do a search on the site itself. See what reviews are out there about it, and how it rates. Most likely there will be a few bad reviews – you can’t please everyone every time – but see what they’re for. If they’re just disgruntled people who would never be happy, so be it. But if they’re real concerns about scams or safety, find another site.

After you’ve looked at some of these factors, try a couple sites for free. See what you like and don’t like before you commit to a contract. And remember, you get out of Internet dating what you put into it – so be open and honest and willing to try!

Romance scams occur in a number of places and websites on the internet,with various methods being used.

The scammers target some particular sites where they know that they are likely to catch potential victims.

Some of the most popular types of websites that they target for romance scams are listed below:

1.Dating Sites: This is about the largest fishing grounds for victims.The scammers join dating sites,both paid and free ones, in order to hunt for victims.

Few of these dating sites, if any at all does not have these villains as members.
No matter what the owners try in the form of preventive or security measures, the scammers are up to the task and always manage to evade the rules.

It is sad to note that some dating sites still have a non-challant attitude till date to the activities of scammers and have not taken adequate measures to prevent innocent people using their services from the antics of the romance scammers.

2.Chat Rooms: many free email hosts offer chat rooms as fora for users of their services. Unfortunately, scammers have turned this well intentioned facility into a bad one.
The chat rooms are the places where they fish for potentisl scam victims.

The scammers typically enter a chat room and try to strike up a conversation with anyone they so choose out of the people in the room.

They could send instant messages to as many people as is possible,in the hope that a few would reply and chat with them.
And they usually succeed with this.

3.Religious,charitable and other innocent sites:Although such innocent sites as these are set up in order to offer help to the needy,and to help humanity, they do not escape the attention of scammers.

The very fact that these type of websites are set up for humanitarian or religious purposes makes the people there especially vulnerable to the scammers.
Such people are typically unsuspecting and have their guard let down.

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Finding love on the internet has become an acceptable way of meeting the right person, but at the same time, along with this shift in attitude, there has also been a significant increase in the prevalence of online scams. These two Internet phenomena have now come together, in a range of scams directed at the lonely person seeking love online. It was perhaps inevitable that there would be those who would take advantage of the lonely and the vulnerable; targeting them online in order to con them out of thousands of dollars, and causing a great deal of heartache along the way.

The loneliness that drives many of these victims to search online for a partner also turns them into easy targets for the internet con artists. Many women have been lured into “relationships” with men they’ve made contact with online because they have been flattered and encouraged by the seemingly genuine attention and gifts showered upon them. Con artists have been known to send chocolates, flowers and other gifts in order to convince women of the strength of their affection, all the while planning to extract as much money as they can from these desperately lonely people.

It is the people who are most alone and most in need of love that are the prey of these con artists. Women in the West, particularly the United States are seen as valuable targets. They are systematically sought out, wooed, and persuaded into a state of dependence on the affection of their internet “lover”. At that point, they are usually willing to hand over large amounts of money solely on the basis of whatever story the con artists cares to spin. Collectively, these con artists, who are out there every day, convince lonely women to hand over millions of dollars, every month.

There are many tragic stories of women from all walks of life who have fallen prey to this type of scam. The one thing they all have in common is their deep loneliness and desire to be loved.

When someone feels alone and unappreciated, the joy of suddenly having someone in his or her lives that seems to truly care can be overwhelming. It also blinds the victim to the reality of the situation. Some women are incredibly reluctant to admit that their internet relationship is not what it seems. The fact that a younger man has apparently become completely besotted with them might seem strange if it suddenly happened in the offline world, but these online con artists easily persuade their targets that any oddness or strange requests for money are worth putting up. The alternative is going back to feeling alone and unloved.

One grandmother of forty five, widowed and living alone, was convinced within just three months of being targeted by a con artists to hand over more than three thousand dollars to a man who had romanced her online. The con artists had recognized the opportunity created by this woman’s loneliness and need to share her life and affection with someone. She had been attracted to internet dating by its anonymity, little realizing that it was this same feature that would lead her internet “lover” to be able to con her out of thousands of dollars, without fear of being caught. She still believes, however, that there is someone out there for her to love, and her loneliness has overridden any anxiety or distrust that might have arisen from her experience. She continues her quest to find love online.

If you, or someone you know, intend to start looking for love on the internet, remember to keep yourself and your money safe. Be aware of these scams, and be careful when making new acquaintances. If someone does begin to ask you to send money, for whatever reason, then their apparent enthusiasm for your company online may not be what it seems.

I first started to hear about Adult Friend Finder about six months ago, to be honest though I actually thought it might not be all it was hyped up to be. I set about trying to find an Adult Friend Finder eReview site and came to the conclusion that they were all trying to sell me something. No where could I find a straight answer!

In the end I just took the plunge and joined Adult Friend Finder. I expected everyone who was hot in my area to vanish once I had paid my membership.

Now let’s get something straight from the start, if you are looking to hook up with people in your area for social meetings etc then Adult Friend Finder is probably not the place to look. I’m fairly sure you will be able to find lots of ‘agencies’ in the local phone book.

Adult Friend Finder is an adult only community that is more geared towards sexual activities between adults, you can cover it up and call it a dating site if you want and perhaps you might just find it – If you’re lucky.

This site can seem very complicated when you first join and to be honest it’s because it is just so big! It’s massive and you can find just about any type of person imaginable there. Not just a young lady friend or a hunky male specimen, be more specific down to chst size and up will come hundreds of results.

It took me ages to find out where everyone was and how to find them and I’m quite good with computers. But my real feelings on the site were a little different once I had the navigation under control!

Relationships Scams and the new Advance Fees
A warning for those in the world of Online Dating

The number of websites offering Internet match-making, online dating or relationship services has increase exponentially. With 2 billion Internet users worldwide as of January 2007, it is no wonder that more and more people are exploring the idea of meeting someone special via the Internet. There are plenty of success stories. This article, however, is a brief look at the darker side of online dating, and the potential pitfalls and risks.

Wymoo International, a global background check and investigative firm, has offered the following true case which occurred in 2006. Names and details have been changed or omitted to protect the privacy and confidentiality of the client. Some of the criminals in this case were eventually apprehended, although the client never fully recovered his financial or emotional loss. The aim here is to prevent future victims.

In February 2006, Paul McCrae, a successful U.S. business person, decided to explore the world of online dating. He signed up on a popular U.S. dating site and was soon contacted by Stephanie Blair of the United Kingdom. Stephanie appeared to be an honest, educated and hard-working girl. She was working in St. Petersburg, Russia as a financial analyst for a bristish investment bank. She made no requests for money, she sent daily emails and routinely phoned Paul in the U.S. She sent gifts for his birthday, and never expressed interest in moving to the States.

Months passed and the relationship progressed with phone calls, emails, letters, gifts, chatting via a webcam, etc. Paul, eventhough he had never met Stephanie in person, felt he could truly trust this person. Her pictures and voice were beautiful. She had a good job in St. Petersburg, came from a good family, and she had studied at a London university. She appeared to be the real thing. Paul finally agreed to visit her in Russia. He was in love.

In October, two weeks prior to Paul’s scheduled flight to Russia, Paul received a phone call. It was Stephanie. She was crying. She had horrible news. She had been in a car accident and had a broken leg, broken ribs, and required a surgery on her lower back. She could not walk and was flown to a different hospital in St. Petersburg where the surgery was to be performed. The hospital required payment in advance, and Stephanie’s credit cards were not accepted. She was desperate and needed cash.

Stephanie went through a total of 3 surgeries that same week. Paul spoke with staff at the hospital who updated him on her condition and the costs. She was expected to fully recover but it would take time. The total medical care cost was $38,000 USD, all of which was paid for by Paul, who wired the money to the hospital representative via Western Union. After the final payment, Paul never heard from her again. The fraud was complete.

How did this happen? Paul had known this person for 9 months. He had trusted her, and she had never asked for money until her accident. They had plans together for their future. Paul was skeptical, approached the relationship with caution, but believed in her and loved her completely. His total loss was close to $40,000 USD, and the emotional damage substantial.

Stephanie was a professional criminal. She new how to play the game. She knew she had to invest time and money in the relationship for the big pay off. In fact, she worked for a business operating in international fraud. Male managers directed and paid the women employees a handsome salary, while instructing and teaching the female employees how to play the role.

Paul contacted Wymoo International after the relationship had ended. The investigation uncovered the criminals behind the scam and authorities in St. Petersburg and Moscow were alerted to the criminal’s identity. The group was broken up and at least one person ended up in police custody. Warnings on blacklists and the Internet were made about the others. Paul recovered part of his financial losses but will never forget the experience.

The moral of the story is, if involved with anyone in a foreign country via a relationship on the Internet, get a background check. Be safe and sleep well at night knowing your intuition is right. Don’t be a victim of the new advance fee fraud.

Be safe and happy hunting,

A. Hathaway

Copyright © 2005-2007 A. Hathaway

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